Poor evening habits

Perhaps it's necessary to engage in lengthy baking activities late in the evening before work the next day. Maybe there are bake-off's or other holiday company festivities to attend. We understand. Happens all the time here. Back when our sub-minimum wage employees were still gainfully "employed" and palliated by our mounds and mounds of illicit healthcare, their incessant munchies led to frequent unofficial, muncie-initiated cake parties. As "boss", I've often made monkey cake. You might think that after that last time, I've learned my lesson. And I have! This time, it turned out a bit more like the photo on the bottom. Success!

This isn't about the usual unbridled success experienced every day, all the time by us here at superimportant though. This is another cautionary tale for you. Since we know you're now probably too smart to bake drunk, on the verge of passing out, this is more of a suggestion on a restful sleep.

Restful sleep is important to enjoy the next day's bake-off and be alert enough to bribe the judges to vote for your entry. One way to avoid restful sleep is to indulge in bits and pieces of your baking during the process. That leads to nightmares. Even if it doesn't, you'd be an idiot to watch a really brutal horror movie while your entry is in the oven. Let's say you've got three choices of ways to pass the time via Netflix A) Oscar Winning Sean Penn movie "Milk" B) Rob Zombie's remake of the classic John Carpenter film "Halloween" C) Something called "Dear Zachary.

I don't care what you do, don't choose B) "Halloween". No. Seriously. Don't do it. What the fuck. It's engineered to scare the fuck out of you and give you nightmares if you watch it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE DAY. But that shit's going to embed itself into your brain if you watch it all sugared up at 1am. No, seriously. You will not sleep well. Trust me. You're going to have fucking nightmares and wake up in cold sweats. It's really going to be quite terrible. Don't fucking do it. Milk or Dear Zachary might make you freakin' cry like a baby, but at least they won't make you involuntarily pee your pants in the middle of the night.

So there you go. Merry Christmas again. Don't say we never get anything for you.