what I think is really in the girls' bathroom

I remain convinced that the girls' bathroom is nothing like the boys' bathroom. This is a long-held belief that is only fed by the several other mysteries of girls.

The girls bathroom has a garden in it. It's all pink and there are fluffy things. It smells like flowers because there are flowers growing in the garden, right next to the stream. There are rocks you can sit on and bathe your feet in the sparkling water. It's fresh water, straight from the mountains. It's really quite amazing that even though architecturally, you'd think the girls room is exactly the same size as the boys room, it has space for a lot more nice stuff. It's always sunny inside, and the grass is always green. The girls wear dresses and take naps on the hills. There aren't any stalls, because girls don't poop. Everyone knows that. The girls room is more for meditation than for going number one or number two.

Everyone knows that the boys room is covered with grafitti, and at least one of the urinals is always running. Plus, there's a bully inside who will steal your lunch money and go back under the bridge for the next billygoat to come along. There's running water in the girls room too, but it's from God. Ours comes from plumbing. If there's an area where grass isn't growing in the girls room, it's covered with flower petals.

The girls room is kept clean and well stocked by faeries who sing, give massages, and apply lotion to your skin.

That's what's in the girls room