My time machine

There are two things I expect for the future: Matter Transporters, so Haiku Harry can toss houseflies into everything he sends, and a time machine. Oh, and zombie killing farms.

I want a time machine. Not anything that can send me decades into the future or way back into the past so I can give myself little tips & advice as a teenager, like "Kiss Karen Taverna on the Ski Lift. You won't regret it". I always regretted not kissing Karen Taverna on the ski lift. I'd dress up in lots of layers & scarves & ski goggles of course, so teenage Ken doesn't recognize adult Ken and the space-time continuum shatters and I suddenly disappear. Anyway, I don't even want a time machine like that. I just want a short term time machine. A few minutes here, a few minutes there. And I want it to be triggered by my downstairs neighbors alarm clock. And every morning, when my downstairs neighbors alarm clock goes off, I want it to zap me 5 minutes into the future. That's all. Nothing fantastic. Just five minutes.

My downstairs' neighbors alarm plays a CD or something. The same song every day. It goes something like "dmmmm, da dmmm ddmmm dmmm dmmm DMMMmmmmmmm......DMMMMMMM, da-dm dm dm dm DMMMMMM", where "DMMMM, etc" = heavy , repetitive bass line. Every fucking morning. Same song. Just one song though, I've learned. I've learned that it's going to stop after 5 minutes and that I don't necessarily need to wake up every time. Just suffer through it and wait for my own alarm clock to go off 15 minutes later. Fuckers. All I want my time machine to do is reclaim those 5 minutes of morning for myself. It should be easy, I think. Scientists don't have to figure out much....just 5 minutes. Someone get on that, please.