Card swallowing ATMs

Why do they still exist? Everywhere, it's swipe and go, push in quickly and remove... Never ENTER CARD AND FORGET IN SAN FRANCISCO UNTIL YOU GET BACK TO NEW YORK AND TRY TO BUY A BOTTLE OF BOURBON!!! Thanks, San Francisco. Now, my Bank of America card is probably in the hands of the same meth-head who stole the rear wheel off of my Concorde while I was in a comedy show with the greatest hostess ever. Comedy shows are great, because you always come out thinking you, too, are funny. I even tried to make funny jokes about the missing wheels of me & my hostess. They fell flat. So we drink whiskey & sparks to ease our pain. But hey, my damn bank card is still in San Francisco. And instead of calling the bank to let them know that it's missing, I keep getting distracted (by work of all things) and only blog or email about it. Hopefully that meth-head doesn't guess my password: BONER.