Monday, February 06, 2006

a reminder to spit on Hummers

All the loyal readers of the predecessor of superimportant (a blog hosted on some kid named ken's myspace page)will know that there's a superimportant policy you all must adhere to of spitting on Hummers. All of them. When you see them, spit on them. They deserve it. It's the least you can do. Let's see an example of why: Here's the Hummer ad that ran during the super bowl. Now, I was taking a nap during the Super Bowl this year, but fortunately all the ads were on google video the next day. And seeing as I didn't have shit to do that day, I went and watched all the ads. I really liked the Stunt City spot. It was the coolest of the hypermasculinity ads, which every freakin new energy drink seemed to embrace. None so much as ad for whatever Full Throttle is. It was so laden with male stereotypes, it was almost offensive, which is fucking fantastic, considering how many godaddy ads there were.

Anyway, this freakin Hummer ad. Good. Lord. I'm almost baffled as to how anyone that WORKS for Hummer can make that ad ad make it an ad FOR Hummer. It's almost like some college kids made an ANTI-Hummer ad that was exactly that, and Hummer didn't get it, or knew their mongoloid demographic so well that they knew that breaking stuff would appeal to them. I...I....I don't really have words for it. It makes me sad. I don't feel like I need to explain why it makes me sad.

So remember kids, spit on your Hummers. Even the H3's. They're for the people who want to feel like they have huge cocks...but not *that* huge. Still, they deserve it. Just make sure the owners don't get out & get in front of you while you're riding your bike and they punch you and you bounce off the parked cars to your left and after you turn back to laugh at the douche, you fall and land on your Krome bag and fracture a rib. Don't let that happen. Just spit on the Hummer and go away.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

like the actual vehicles, hummer advertising perpetually annoys me. but i'll admit that i do like the monster hummer ad. it's _just_ odd enough. And I appreciate that a giant lizard and a giant robot get it on, because it's time for mass media to finally address reptilian/killer-bot relationships. Remember Sins of the Fleshopoids? it reminds me of the last scene in that (spoiler alert!), when the chick gives birth to a tiny robot. Incidentally, sins of the fleshopoids gets a 7.3 rating on imdb. wtf? i understand it's influential, but come on, it was painful to watch.