I seriously can't get enough of Entenmann's Raspberry Danish Twist

Oh man, I feel like I'm 12 again. Or 14. Or 8. Maybe even 20. Who knows when I first had Entenmann's Raspberry Danish Twist for the first time? But it was definitely in an even year of my life. Definitely. But oooh, that sticks with you. What DO they put in this junk food that makes it so addictive? Sugar? Is that it? Sugar? Genius, really. So simple. They should put sugars in everything. Simple, complex? Gimme a goddamn break, it's delicious.

Is this good for me? Clearly not. Do I care? I certainly should. If you follow twitter, you'll know that A) I'm concerned with my health. Hence the frequent "I'm watching something like Ghostbusters on Hulu while riding my rollers in my apartment and sweating my balls off" posts. The rollers. They're good things. It's like having a gym in your apartment. Like Nordicflex or the Crazy Fit Vibration Plate Fitness Machine. Holy. Crap. I think I'm gonna get myself one of those things. I thought they were outlawed in the 50's because they didn't do a goddamn thing. Like the way Halcion was outlawed in the 90's, except that Halcion certainly did stuff, and my Dad apparently has been hanging on to a couple pills somehow. (Abrupt discontinuation of Halcion can cause convulsions, cramps, tremor, vomiting, sweating, feeling ill, perceptual problems, and insomnia. "Disturbing thoughts" and something called "Traveler's Amnesia" are also warned about).

So yeah, pretty much not like Halcion at all. But I can see the Crazy Fit Full Body Vibrator sitting in a corner collecting dust and working as a thrilling sex toy, at least. Oh man...there are all sorts of worthless, yet accidental-sex-toy-gems on that overstock link!

Take the Giddyup Core Excersizer here. No explanation necessary.

Or this ball-chair thing. OK, I can't think of anything salubrious about it really, but it looks hilarious. Let's order 'em for the kids here at the superimportant offices so I can run around knocking them off their chairs so much easier! Wait, $110 a pop? F that. The kids are staying on the floor.

Anyway, I'm delighted and slightly mystified that my Google Image search for Entenmann's came up with this, eventually:
I definitely, definitely feel like I'm 12 again. Or at least 22.