JK, LOL, I didn't sleep with your mom...yet

The superimportant dashboards were LIT UP for DAYS following the expose "hugging is like a gateway drug". At least, that's what a certain superimportant staffer was telling us, but that kid grew up dropping acid, and we suspect him of being a zombie anyway. He just lurches around and never takes his day's nickel whenever we give it to him. Then there was this one time he showed up with a giant jar labeled "bits'o'brains" and sat there all day dipping them in barbecue sauce. That was weird. But his grunts and moans are highly effective customer support, so we keep him around. Plus, he isn't costing us anything, so whatever.

Anyway, apparently you superimportant readers have been concerned that the licentious nature of the superimportant executive staff has finally made it's way into the annals of ink, for the whole world to feast upon it's delightful debauchery. Maybe it's that awkward, uncharacteristic breach of privacy that kept you from posting comments on what I thought was a hilarious post. Well fear not, fearful readers! That post was just an allegory. Or a metaphor. Something like that. The point is, the naked life of superimportant is limited primarily to the fact that all of our work is done naked. Like right now. I'm naked. Think about it. And leave comments.

And, I didn't do it with your mom. But I totally would. I mean, who wouldn't? More importantly, who hasn't already? Sheesh.