To be fair

I realize that the earlier superimportant news about killing zombies may unfairly single out certain elements of our society, and superimportant wants to emphasize that we're not pricks, just assholes. Also, feedback from R&D has recommended we explain what the hell we're talking about when we talk about the zombie killing farm. "Not everyone has been reading superimportant from it's inception," our researchers say. After we stopped crying and our rage subsided, we realized that they were right. It takes time for superimportant news to spread, and some people may be resistant to accept the fact that pretty much everything other than superimportant is irrelevant.

For the reader's reference, here is earlier reading material on the zombie farm. It is a superimportant ongoing endeavor. Our R&D department is working behind the scenes, tirelessly, to bring this project to fruition.

The original concept is explained here.

It is mysteriously expounded upon by some dude called Haiku Harry in this blog post from February

Then in March another reference was made in relation to the justification of the dissolution of the state of Rhode Island.

Now that the reader is up to date, let's continue.

To be fair to the zombies, superimportant wishes to extend the list of people who deserve to be herded together, then dragged out & gunned down as a leisure activity.

1) People in elevators who say "thank you" when the door opens. I don't know what was up with that crazy lady, but the world is full of 'em.
2) Your mom's pimp. I think he cheated me out of $4.
3) People who name the layers in their photoshop documents descriptive things like "layer 106", "layer 106 copy 1", "layer 106 copy 2", and so on and so forth.
4) People who speak in authoritative tones but don't know what they're talking about. (this would actually include me, if it weren't for the fact that I try to end every statement by saying "but actually, I don't know what the fuck I'm talking about so don't listen to a word I say". It absolves me from pretty much any kind of responsibility whatsoever)
5) Anyone who sucks on their fingers all day long and makes smacking sounds with their lips as they do it. Seriously, what the fuck? Do you dip your hands in honey every morning or something? I don't get it.
6) The one security dude in my building that doesn't recognize me as "the guy who looks like a messenger, but actually works here." Come on man! Your job ain't that hard! Everyone else remembers me. Dick.
7) Landlords who tell me that mice get in through the window.
8) Landlords who tell me that I'm not allowed to have visitors, ever.
9) Landlords who pound on my door before 6 in the morning when the apartment isn't burning down. What other reason could there be? Maybe he just needed to give me the receipt for June's rent. But he already DID give me a receipt. Turns out it was for 4F. I live in 3R. He wanted to make sure I got the right receipt, and that I put 4F's in their mailbox on my way out. Sure, fine, but why the fuck are you doing this at 6 in the fucking morning? Oh, well, I know that you go to work later. Yeah, I go to work later. At fucking 9! Furthermore, there are only 8 apartments in this building. Separated by floor, then Front and Rear. Who the fuck confuses 3R with 4F? My landlord is bat-shit insane. Honestly.

That's it. It might turn out that this list is only 4 people. But I'd like to see them all running in panic among the zombies & bullets. Especially the crazy elevator lady and my landlord. Crazy elevator lady would be all "oh my. oh my. I have tickets for the Pajama Game. Where's Broadway?" And my landlord would be yelling at the zombies, trying to scare them with a stick or something. It'd be hilarious.