It's a damn good thing I live alone, huh? It's a pretty bad thing I work in a small, semi-enclosed, poorly ventilated, germ infested space though. (We call it the petri dish. At least, that's what I call it. I don't know if anyone else really finds it funny. But that's never really my concern). If any of my coworkers are reading this, yeah, that was me. Sorry about that.
So let's see. What could it be? Let's start at say...the beginning of yesterday. Tuesday.
I left late for work and didn't have breakfast at home, so I got a Carrot Muffin with some coffee at the Unitarian coffee shop next to work. They seemed disappointed that I hadn't been coming in there recently. Maybe because I was on to their creep-ass Unitarian brainwashing plans. Fucking psychos.
Carrot Muffin
Oh. Then, someone brought in a bunch of Krispy Kreme donuts. Jesus Christ, I love Krispy Kremes.
2 glazed, 1 jelly filled
For lunch, I reheated the Chicken cooked in garlic, lemon juice, leeks, and cilantro that I made the night before.
Then I rode my bike a bunch after work and watched my friend get a ticket for touching an undercover cop car. Mind you, this undercover cop car was in the park after it had been closed to cars, and was slowly driving into our lane as we were riding in it. So my buddy touches the hood at the front of the car to be like, "dude, uh, don't run me over? I'm riding a bike here?" Seconds later, "whooop!" flashing lights, "you got ID?" He ended up getting a summons for "hitting the car and not riding in the bike lane". Cops are fucking douchefags. I'm totally going to court for this guy.
OK, so after that, I made an omelette with Avocados & Bacon. Damn, that was good. And I had a whiskey & coke & passed out.
This morning, I had sliced bananas on toast with peanut butter, as usual.
For lunch, I had a 6" cold cut combo from Subway with spinach, onions, tomatoes, uhhhhhhhhh, black olives, green peppers, mayonaisse, & spicy mustard.
Then I had a cookie.
Then I cooked my sister the same chicken dinner I made monday night & reheated for Tuesday's lunch. I cook dinner for her sometimes on Wednesday nights and we watch L O S T. It's like our family bonding time.
And now it's now. So what's giving me this gas?
Carrot Muffin + coffee?
Chicken w/ garlic, cilantro, lemon juice, & leeks?
Three Krispy Kreme Donuts?
Avocado & Bacon Omelette?
Peanut Butter, Banana, & wheat toast?
Subway Cold Cut Combo with Spinach, Tomato, Onion, Green Pepper, Black Olives, Mayo & Mustard?
Cookie?
Same Chicken thing?
VOTE NOW! NO SPAM, PLEASE!
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13 comments:
my money is on the potent combination of bananas and peanut butter for breakfast mixing with the onion and mayo from your lunch. right now, your stomach is at war. The axis of evil is working it's way through your intestinal tract, and soon it will have to be taken out. So your body is enacting a series of preemptive flatulent strikes to clear the way.
sadly, since you've resorted to biological warefare, there's going to be a lot of collateral damage. your coworkers are doomed. WHY MUST THE CHILDREN ALWAYS SUFFER?
subway = processed food = gas
Holy shit, you've got an exciting diet! Do you always eat like this?
who is gallatin? this is a mystery to me.
And yes, I sometimes frequently always eat like this. Other times it's just boxed rice, microwave pizzas, tuna sandwiches, and cereal, but I like to try to eat sorta well.
"I made an omelette with Avocados & Bacon."
Yeah, this just impresses the hell out of me.
Gallatin is simply someone who needs to know what is superimportant.
it's also the school of independent study at NYU.
EVERYONE needs to know what's superimportant. THUS, the moniker of this blog.
and I knew of the NYU school of "make your own program", which I COULD use as a clue to gallatin's secret identity, *IF* I were so ambitious - which I'm not. But I'll keep it in the back of my head.
The Avocado & Bacon Omelette is awesome. It's probably a trick I accidentally absorbed from my job.
Gallatin actually refers to Albert Gallatin, Secretary of the Treasury appointed by Thomas Jefferson.
He served 13 years!
But I really don't think you could ever guess who I am because I don't think you actually know me.
damnit.
oh well. enjoy all things superimportant then.
Hey bikerfag-
Subway cold cut combo. Abso-fucking-lutely.
Or maybe it was karma for smooching co-workers and then not-remembering it.
huh? I don't remember that.
Lies, it was the best you ever had.
Bananas give me awful smelling gas. Not a lot, but the kind that smells like sewer. Try it.
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