EXCLUSIVE: Girls Poop!

Shocking news from the wires this morning as, according to dayxandcounting.blogspot.com, girls poop. Once believed impossible, or at best, mythic, the idea of girls pooping challenges deeply held personal beliefs. The superimportant staff has all been fired in a severely violent tirade following this shattering revelation. The office was thrashed, gods names were cried out in agony and despair, tears were shed, and self-mutilation was contemplated, just to see if I could ever feel _anything_ again. Then we got over it, and went out to get cupcakes at Billy's. Billy, I learned this afternoon, is no longer "Billy" and is now "Lorraine". I feel tainted, pun wholly intended.