Accidentally pouring Orange Juice into Cereal

One of the superimportant staffers made a huge fuckup in preparing my dinner one day last week. It was a delicate cereal dinner that I had been thinking about all day long. I had even stopped at the grocery store on the way home to pick up whatever was on sale next to the pop-tarts. This was going to be superb. But the goddamn idiot grabbed the orange juice instead of the milk and just started POURING AWAY! Luckily I was there to catch (and promptly fire) him...or her...can't remember...before an entire bowl of cereal AND god knows how much orange juice was wasted. Things don't come cheap around the superimportant office, and we can't afford to waste anything. We're providing a public service to you, and we're doing it ad-free. There isn't any revenue coming in from bringing you everything you need to know, you know. Most of our limited funds are spent on whiskey, red meat, sparks, beer, cable internet, laundry, bribes, medical supplies, bike stuff, stock photo fees, NYPD payoffs, hookers, and film development for the darkroom. Not to mention the Panama Jack hat collection. Those things are rare. We can't afford to waste any of our orange juice OR cereal.

It was a tense few days at the office, but eventually my rage subsided, and I decided just to have that dinner, even though it was tainted by orange juice. I discovered....that it was pretty damn good, actually. It makes sense, really. Like adding orange zest to your cupcakes or other baking projects. A splash of OJ really added some great flavor to my dinner. So, next time you're half drunk or mostly asleep and groggily grab whatever's closest to you in your fridge without looking, because it's such a force of habit these days and you spend most of your waking life in a dazed state of semi-consciousness and barely know what you're really doing just as long as your doing *something*, don't worry if the OJ gets on your Honey Bunches of Oats. It'll be good. Or uh, you know, if your employee does that or something.